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It Super Cup draws 100 million people… and the decision to watch the Super Bowl is literally the only thing 100 million people can ever agree on. Sometimes millions of people will be moved by amazing musical moments at halftime, and sometimes they will be unwitting witnesses to the pile-up of several cultural vehicles.

The halftime show didn’t actually start serving a national audience until several decades into Super Bowl history, so we excluded the marching band, children’s choir and the “Up With People” years. Instead, we’ll focus on an era where the people who produced these shows really should have known better… or realized their mistake about 12 minutes in, give or take. We start with Beatle…

10. Paul McCartney (Super Bowl XXXIX, 2005). The Ultimate Boomer Halftime Show! The NFL and halftime show producers had to reconsider what they thought was the halftime show’s tendency toward (gasp) racism and profanity (gasp), so as we’ll discuss below, the league brought in the most inoffensive. performer is possible. McCartney went through a haphazard tour of Beatles and solo hits, beginning to remember when the Boomer legends (the Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty) would maintain the line of safe, family-friendly classic rock until the end of rock. decade.

9. Indiana Jones (Super Bowl XXIX, 1995). When is a halftime show not a halftime show? When it’s just an advertisement for an amusement park ride, an awkward middle school drama with a multi-million dollar budget. The 1995 halftime show was basically a televised version of the Disneyland Indiana Jones ride, and it was just as fun to watch as watching someone else enjoy the ride. Whoever greenlit this mess chose poorly.

8. The Who (Super Bowl XLIV, 2010). One of the early rock bands became the last rock band to date, and possibly ever, to headline a half-hour show. Considering The Who talked about breaking up as far back as 1982, their Super Bowl halftime show four decades later wasn’t exactly hip to appeal to young people. Everyone just looked tired as the band rolled through five songs of their greatest hits. The “I hope I die before I get old” angle is tired, so let’s try this. Meet the new boss, so much worse than the old boss. Or maybe Old Man Washtland?

7. “Winter Magic” (Super Bowl XXVI, 1992). Ah, these were more innocent days, an era when you could put on an upscale Broadway spectacle with skaters, sparklers and holiday carols and call it an intermission show. You know what? Those more innocent days stink. This Ice Capades crap didn’t belong anywhere near an NFL field, and the league finally started getting these productions off the stage soon after.

6. Black-Eyed Peas (Super Bowl XLV, 2011). Every generation gets its own chaotic mess of a Super Bowl halftime show. It’s always desperate to grab as much attention as possible by throwing familiar names on stage, whether or not you know they can perform. The Black-Eyed Peas, Usher, Slash and local drill bands came together for a musical stew that felt more like neon-glowing sludge. Don’t be ashamed that you’ve liked this stuff before, everyone has. But let’s never talk about Fergie’s attempt at Sweet Child O’ Mine.

Where should we go, where should we go now to forget about this? (David Eulitt/Kansas City Star/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)

5. Blues Brothers (Super Bowl XXXI, 1997). This is worse than a Fox News Special Report flight. Yes, there was a time when America was enthralled by a group of comedians dancing to classic R&B. No, we don’t know why either. Even performances from ZZ Top and James Brown can’t save this disaster, although it’s funny to think of kids all over the country asking their parents what “Tush” is.

4. It’s A Small World (Super Bowl XXV, 1991). The shock of going from Whitney Houston’s transcendent national anthem to this embarrassing Disney mess must have sent viewers into a concussion record. Is it wrong to hate a recess made up entirely of children? If said kids are singing “It’s a Small World,” it’s practically your patriotic duty to hate on the show. If you’re tempted to complain about the current playing field, take a good look at what your parents and grandparents put up with and stop complaining.

3. Aerosmith, Britney Spears, N’Sync, Nelly, Mary J. Blige (Super Bowl XXXV, 2001). Just a flat mess. This was the equivalent of “You like pizza, burgers, wings, and tacos. How about a pizza-burger-wing taco?” Trying to appeal to everyone, this dog’s breakfast of musical styles (and fashion) ends with an incredibly awkward “Walk This Way” dance-singalong. Hey, it was 2001, nobody knew any better.

2. Elvis Presto (Super Bowl XXIII, 1989). We challenge you to get through this video of the Elvis impersonator, “Elvis Presto,” without cringing so hard you pull a muscle, of course. Mr. Presto syncs his way through a card trick; “Everyone in the stands, let’s hear it for your card, because the selection depends on your applause,” which breaks down, and the 3-D glasses didn’t quite work. as advertised. Total nonsensical chaos, but then you don’t make a huge miss unless you take a huge swing.

1. Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake (Super Bowl XXXVIII, 2004). Another throwback show, with everyone from Nelly to Jessica Simpson to Kid Rock on stage at one time or another, ended with one of the most infamous moments on television when Justin Timberlake ripped. To reveal part of Janet Jackson’s bust. – her nipple. The performance itself was fine during a typical hiatus, but the backlash, from the destruction of Jackson’s career, to Timberlake’s skating style, to the public’s moralizing attitude, made the moment one of the most infamous in American entertainment. the story. The backlash from this moment will rattle popular culture for years to come, and for no good reason at all.

Run, Janet, it will be much worse for you.  (Jeff Haynes/AFP via Getty Images)

Run, Janet, it will be much worse for you. (Jeff Haynes/AFP via Getty Images)


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