Saturday Night Live took a break from politics this week to instead bring viewers “live” coverage of the Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard “cuckoo” trial.
“I know it’s not the most pertinent story of the moment,” Kate McKinnon as MSNBC’s Nicolle Wallace said at the top of the cold open sketch. “But with all of the problems in the world isn’t it nice to have a news story we can all collectively watch and say, ‘Ooh, glad it ain’t me?’”
The sketch zeroed in on the salacious allegation that Heard left “fecal matter” in Depp’s bed, imagining the moment when his various house staff discovered the “dookie” in question.
When Heard’s lawyer objected on the grounds that it has nothing to do with Depp’s guilt or innocence, Cecily Strong’s judge replied, “That’s true, but I’ll allow it. Because it does sound fun and this trial is for fun.”
Kyle Mooney, meanwhile, did his best to embody Depp’s smirking answers to the lawyers’ questions. “Mr. Depp, are you finding this trial amusing?” the judge asked. “A little, yes,” he replied.
“OK, I think I’ve seen enough,” the judge ultimately concluded. “This trial has given me a lot to consider. On one hand, I believe Mr. Depp’s story, but on the other hand, your constant little smirk lets me know that this is not the first woman you’ve made so mad that she pooped in your bed.”
“I guess I have been known to be a… full nightmare,” Depp said in response, putting on his shades, to which the judge said, “Right, OK, either way, I’m just so glad this ain’t me .”
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